Ways of the world: Trauma as a result of self-preserving nature of the human mind.

When we talk about trauma, many associate it with large events, near death experiences or trauma due to service in military or other related activities. As the movies usually portray trauma, it is not the extreme reactions due to triggering of a person’s pain points or the ringing in the ears, loss of consciousness, leading to anxiety attacks that can only be classified as trauma.

Across the globe, families alike and unalike, we are all same yet different at the same time. While we all bleed and scab when wounded, some give it timely care so it can heal, while others take care of it casually. There is a category of people who don’t even care about it, rinsing it over tap water and allowing nature to take its course. Some of us have people to blow on our wounds and console us while others have to cry in the dark in a corner, silenced by the blowing winds. What is that, that makes us different? Why is that some get to have unfair advantages?

The answer is that, the ways of the world known to man is nothing but abstract knowledge. “Life is nothing but a set of experiences”, they say. “Everything happens for a reason”, they say. They even say, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. But if there is one thing we all agree with, it is that life is cruel.

Living in a timeline where time is based on forward movement with no room for second chances, the mistakes we make along the way and the regrets we hold, what life wants to say is exceptionally clear. Deal with it or get out. But it is not just cruel is it, if not then why are some people lucky? Why do some get to have easy lives? Why do the strong have an abundance of opportunities? The dualistic nature of the world, makes it hard to separate black from white. Like a poisonous snake that is important for ecological balance or the blooming floods caused due to interruption of nature’s flow. Nature, when disrupted seems to retaliate with vengeance, or, should I call it self-protection?

And human beings as a part of this beautiful system, hate being disrupted too. Unequal treatment, broken homes, emotionally unstable parents, cultural shackles and societal pressure cause many of us to lose the innocence of our childhoods and become adults at a young age. Any factor from, protection against an emotionally immature parent causing you to want to take care of their emotions at the cost of neglecting your own to striving to live up to other people’s expectations by no fault of your own just so you can soothe someone’s ego is disrupting natures flow. And the consequence?

They become exceptional.

Exceptionally ruthless (psychopaths) or exceptionally mediocre (living on autopilot).

The world is filled with living people but broken souls. What is someone without a soul? You answer that yourself. Coming from such dire yet common circumstances, each have a shadow in their heart. A shadow that is said to be exceptionally dark, that one is not allowed to show it to the world. A side not even their mirrors have seen. But it is not like they are always hidden right? We all have those nights that are exceptionally quiet, except for the croaking of frogs and chirping of crickets, those nights where we are surrounded by nothing but an unbearable loneliness and despair against the world’s circumstances where those repressed feelings rise up. That feeling of shame when you embarrassed yourself in front of your high school crush, or the time you felt abandoned while hanging out with your friends. It overwhelms you so much that you wish to push it down and never feel it ever again. But, is that what happens in the end?

No!

For the self-preserving human body, what good can it do to relive those uncomfortable moments from the past?

Nature cleans anything that soils its existence by itself. From an invasive species to fallen leaves on the ground, everything has its own process. The same could be said for the comfort seeking human body. Years of evolution has made us cautious. Be it natural disasters, sickness or threat to life, the one common feeling amongst all of these experiences is discomfort. Coincidentally, suppressing your emotions, giving up on your natural needs, allowing yourself to be caged, humiliation and feelings of fear and abandonment also feels uncomfortable. Digesting these emotions naturally must also follow standard procedure. If not, a shadow is formed. Trauma is much more complex. It has its own cause, effect and triggers. It makes one numb to emotions, live in indecision and discomfort, lose one’s identity and apathetic to the world. Such unstable foundations lead to an unhappy life and career at minimum. It has dire consequences but it’s not impossible to heal.

The dualistic nature of this shadow is also particularly interesting. It works to protect you but using actions or feelings the world would consider immoral. The main concept is that, if it feels uncomfortable, do not do it again. Our early childhood shapes our personality for the rest of our life, if left unattended. Parents are our first teachers and their actions and reactions are our first lessons. They show you what you will become in the future. To someone who has never been allowed to speak up for themselves, someone who is able to stand up for themselves is rude. To someone who’s been ridiculed for believing in themselves, confidence feels like arrogance. To someone who’s never been shown how to love, self-love feels like a chore. It’s a chain, woven through generations with repeating patterns and interwoven thoughts.

We are programmed to believe in our thoughts. Because your thoughts influence your actions. Think about it, any time you took action, it has always been motivated by feeling. Be it opening that novel despite knowing you have assignments to finish, or clicking on that video game knowing you are not going to be able to get out of that chair for hours. Feelings stem from thoughts. You think of how that previous experience felt and you wish to experience it again. Or not experience it again. So, when you are told to not do something, your brain reasons with itself to not allow yourself to do it, no matter how crooked the reason can be. Because our brain has limited brain power but powerful sensory transmitters, that if we were to focus energy on everything we perceive, we would go crazy. This is the reason why everyone holds different perceptions of the world. This is how confirmation bias, the red car theory and the spotlight effect comes into play.

Resources are abundant, but distribution is scarce. We all have our histories and genealogies, from sparse farms to wealthy cities, from abundant gold to tattered clothes. Be it the superiority we wish to see, the allegations imposed upon us, the cruelty our ancestors went through or our current circumstances, we have been told generations upon generations, through word or through action that we must live a certain way. To those whose identities have been stripped down, to those who have been cast upon the streets looking for means to survive, every lash and every suffering have been embedded as lessons, which has shaped their worldview. What do you think these people will teach their generations to come? And who is to blame?

Those who make a conscious effort to change, change generations altogether.